Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Things that make me Angry Face: Throw Pillows


Oh sure, they look cute, and cuddly, and comfy, but they are the most evil things to exist in the house. They're everywhere, the couches, the arm chairs, the beds, the floor, and where ever else they can smoosh themselves into.

While there are worse things than cute little pillows flopped around the house, they have the most cunning ways of getting themselves into the way of anything you're trying to do. What? You're trying to watch TV on the couch? Well, too bad, the pillows were there first. Trying to take a little nap in the afternoon, might as well skip the bed and sleep on the floor. You're treading on dangerous territory. Pillow territory, and they are out for blood.
I remember the days when beds only needed one or two pillows, nothing fancy, just strictly business. Or when couches and arm chairs didn't need anything fancy. There is no way you can comferatably sit on a chair with a nice, fat toss pillow taking up half the chair. One thing I've noticed, pillows never learned to share. Especially on the bed. Your adorable matching little pillows don't love you, they don't want to be your bedtime cuddle buddy, they want you OUT.

I think back in our minds most of us know that, which is why they usually end up on the floor, in a little angry cluster. Putting them back on the bed in the morning isn't going to undo the damage you've done to their ego, they're plotting your revenge.
In our house, there are pillows galore, so I speak from experience here. Show them who's boss, and they won't give you any trouble. Instead of gently lifting them off the couch or chair, kick them, shove them off. Let them know you're not fooling around. Which is why I sleep with my one pillow, and my door locked, I'm ready for anything.

Next time you're in Bed, Bath & Beyond, walk right on past those sparkly little pillows, use the money on something awesome, like a new set of knives, or a blender.

Regards, Zombie Julie
>:(

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